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Everything Isn't Fine

by Ghostmod

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1.
Everything Isn't Fine 00:23
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Everything isn't fine, you're losing your mind. Everything isn't fine, you're losing your mind.
2.
You're Losing Your Mind 03:29
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My state of mind is a state of decay Like fucking zombies, they eat my brain. They chase and claw at my throat Devour my heart as I start to choke. My fucking mind is a minefield My legs are numb, my eyes are sore. I need some sleep, I need this to stop Cutting it close won't help me this time. Your fucking tone is wasted on me Some days I want to pack up and leave. I've done it before and now I feel worse My head is a wreckage and home is the coast. I'm fucking stranded, no sense of hope I get so fucking angry, all I do is moan. Now I moan that I am alone There's no use. There's no sense in this Let me be with people. They them understand what I am. I know you try but it feels like lies My habitat's ablaze. Some day's I want to pack up and leave. I've done it before and now I feel low My head is a wreckage and home is the coast. (You're losing your mind). And I can't even look at myself right now. Everything isn't fine, you're losing your mind Just smile, you're losing your- Your fucking tone is wasted on me Some days I want to pack up and leave. I've done it before and now I feel worse My head is a wreckage and home is the coast. Now I moan that I am alone There's no use. Let me be with people.
3.
Any Better? 03:39
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You can learn a lot from the devil, can't you? So innocent. You can learn a lot from me if you'd like to So innocent. You're so sweet when you tease When you bring me to my knees. She said "You can learn a lot from the devil, can't you?". I want to be there Do it again. Maybe this will be just fine. I wish we could hurt the ones we love Without having any consequences. You're fucked up too How can I be any better than you? Don't even question my thought process yet. I want to be there Do it again. I'd say I'm sorry if I felt it I'd rather buckle, hibernate then sleep. The skin unfolds Bleeds like poppies. Your lips look red, unfurled. You're open and free Like the autumn leaves. They flutter with death Lay snug on the ground. Our stems intertwine Maybe it will all be fine. Maybe this will all be just fine. I want to be there Do it again.
4.
Holiday Season: Part 2 04:37
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I’ll be clear this time At least I’ll think about it this time. I don’t know where we’re going But I just hope it’s somewhere near. My legs are hurting My mind is worse right now- Now we’re back, now we’re back in line It’s nearly Christmas time. This is love, this is love This is love, this is everything, everything. This is love, this is love This is love when I’m not around. This sounds like toys They aren’t having fun anymore. This sounds so childish and weak But I ain’t havin’ fun no more. I hope your friends fall to their knees I hope they raise an applause for me. I am self-indulgent, self-obsessed I think I really am a terrible mess. This is love, this is love This is love, this is everything, everything. This is love, this is love This is love when I’m not around. When things set me off Feels like you’ve dropped a bomb. When you set me off, I put up a wall And you mean nothing at all. You are a target, you are an enemy You are a sub-human verse of everything I hate. And I hate getting this angry about cynical things About typical things, like "how are you?" "How are you?" This is love, this is love This is love, this is everything, everything. This is love, this is love This is love when I’m not around. I'll be clear this time At least I'll think about it this time. This is love, this is love This is love, this is everything, everything. This is love, this is love This is love when I’m not around.
5.
Doomed 02:15
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Bless your horoscopes I need to know. What I'm gonna do with My life, my day, my week, my month. I don't even know what time it is. Am I able? Am I stable? Or will I be... Doomed and doomed And doomed 'till I'm old. Bless your periscopes I need to see. What is out there for me On the horizon, they're coming for me. Bless your eyes Bless your thighs Bless Jesus Christ. Well this is just a test This is just something I want to know. That if I lack the faith will I be... Doomed and doomed And doomed 'till I'm old. (Smile, this won't hurt a bit.) You'll feel no pain if you are dead If you do it quick there'll be no regrets. At least for your sake Selfish intake. You'll feel no pain if you are dead.
6.
Me, Again 03:58
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I don't want sound cliche but I'm okay today Put my mind into a positive space and we can all smile true. I'm with you, all right too, find love. And my mind is quite free right now I've had one or two. But that doesn't mean I'm gonna loose it I will be happy for you. I'm with you, all right too, find love. I am finally free I am finally me, again. At least until I slip off The edge again. Sometimes you need that sickly silliness A childish smile, someone to hold your hand. Don't you feel grand? I'm with you, all right too, find love. My bed is quite free right now I'm feelin' all right. I still have my pillows and memories They can hold me tight. Ain't that sad, I feel bad Ain't that sad, don't feel. I am finally free I am finally me, again. At least until I slip off The edge again. I am finally free. I am finally free I am finally me, again. At least until I slip off The edge again.
7.
Quarry 02:58
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This is quarry of childhood smiles Where nothing could, and would hurt us. This is our private little den We are safe here in the dirt. And we were just 15 We couldn't even know what we'd be. Little whisperers, sneaking little fucks Screaming at me red faced "I am giving up". This is my attempt to feel content about things that happened Back in the past where the past meant everything. I try and I try and although struggle sometimes This nostalgia is an enemy, of mine. This is the quarry of hell This is where I fell in love. We would touch on the edge And you would lay on the ground. Keep your voice down low Keep our breathing slow. I think I hear it coming I don't wanna have to say goodbye. This is my attempt to feel content about things that happened Back in the past where the past meant everything. I try and I try and although struggle sometimes This nostalgia is an enemy, of mine. (I will not let you forget). You've probably forgotten it all I'm not a scratch on your mind, right now. But you look so happy Goodbye.
8.
Blue Heart 05:56
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You’ve got tattoos of lilies I’ve got pain in my chest. You’ve set the soundtrack But I’m just a mess. Send a little blue heart in a box with a kiss. I’m just a disaster when it comes to relaxing and having s- (Shush) I’m so out of sync Just tickled pink. You say this was romantic But I’m romantically stressing the fuck out, again. Send a little blue heart in a box with a kiss And I’ve walked next to the dead. I am lost and I’m scared There isn’t much I wouldn’t do for this. You say I look confused, but that’s my general look I don’t know what I’m doing. Hands under chin Just an angel ready to sin. City trains are bright, just like the light That is showing me off in a horrid way. I want to be in the darkness with you. Send a little blue heart in a box with a kiss I promise you next time it’ll be better than this. Well this is just not like me I think I’m feeling so free This is new and exciting. And yeah you like to tease You’ve got me on my knees And I am begging you for more. Pop-punk used to break my heart. Get you out of those clothes I want to hold you close. That is everything I needed. And you just smile and laugh But we're having a blast. I know what they were on about. Send a little blue heart in a box with a kiss I promise you next time it’ll be better than this. You’ve got tattoos of lilies I’ve got pain in my chest. You’ve set the soundtrack But I’m just a mess. I’m so out of sync Just tickled pink. You say this was romantic But I’m romantically stressing the fuck out, again. (The fuck out). Send a little blue heart in a box with a kiss Send a little blue heart in a box with a kiss. I’m just a disaster when it comes to relaxing and having sex.

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It's not perfect but what is?
Everything Isn't Fine

New ends, new beginnings.

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released December 25, 2017

Me, and all of me.

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Ghostmod Sheffield, UK

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